X Marked the Spot

It was the first time that she said
“I love you”
My response was
“Thanks”

We had hung out all day, I was off and so was she, I was her boss, and so I arranged it so that we could both have a Saturday together. We hadn’t done a whole lot that day, we hit a few garage sales that morning, but for the most part we were just being lazy. At around 10 o’clock that evening we got moving went to the beer store and picked up enough drinks for the evening. There was a party that we were all meeting at after everyone got off of work. We had planned to go early and wait for everyone to get there.

I had troubles finding the house, it was in a neighborhood in Amarillo that I was not familiar with, when I finally found the house, we both got out, I tossed the beer that I had been drinking under my Jeep and headed towards the house.

As I walked in the living room was empty, but there were voices outside on the patio. I walked past the big screen TV that was playing footage of a Eric’s 20th birthday party. I walked to the patio and opened the door. As I scanned the crowd for a familiar face, I didn’t know anyone there so I went back in and set my beer in the fridge. I grabbed two beers and headed back out. Leah was talking with one of her girlfriends, Randi, so I joined in on the conversation. She hugged me as she talked to Randi, they were making plans of what to do for the evening. They decided that they would go to Bennigans to pick up another one of their girlfriends, and meet back at the party at midnight. I decided to stay and wait for Eric to get off work.

I hung back while they were gone. I was not in a very social mood. I had a long week and all I wanted to do was go home and drink a couple of beers and hang out with Leah, but she was a social butterfly, and she enjoyed Saturday nights abroad instead of at home. So I humored her and decided that I could hang for a few more hours.

I walked to the fence near the back of the yard to take a piss. As I was reliving myself, my cell phone rang, it was Leah.
“I just wanted to call and say something”
“Ok what” I asked, I expected to hear that she had found another party, and that she would meet up with me later.
“I love you,” she said
My heart started to pound. I was so god damn afraid of the “L” word. It surprised me to hear her say it. I had strong feelings for her ever since we started hanging out, but I had been burned a couple of thousand of times by the whores in Amarillo so I was a little reluctant to hear the word, because I knew that the whole relationship was about to change, but I was excited (hence the heart-beat) so I said the only thing that I could think of.

“Thanks”
“Thanks?” she asked
“Yeah thanks, I mean I love you too.” I couldn’t believe that I had just said those words. That evil fucking trinity of words. They have never worked out for me. Love in over-fucking rated. It is an emotion, and emotions are not true. OK enough of being bitter. Maybe this time would be different, maybe she was the one………Leah Graves I thought as I zipped up my pants and headed back to the patio. I cracked another beer and began to ponder what exactly was the cool way to play this “love “ thing out when she showed back up to the party.

Eric showed up and I told him about the 3 words.
“Fuck that, man” he said, “she is probably drunk or stoned”
Well thanks for that vote of confidence.
I had gone from having “feelings” for this girl to being head over heels in a matter of 30 minutes (and 6 beers). And that is the reason that I hate is so much, I fall too fast, I begin to feel comfortable around someone way too fast and the next thing that I know one of my buddies is telling me that he saw my girlfriend blowing Tonto the door-guy at the club for free admission and a hand stamp.
When she got back to the party we talked and held each other, she sat in my lap and we made plans to head back to my apartment and do dirty things to each other. Then this fuckstain named Derrick came over to us and asked us if we wanted to “roll”
For the non-educated “rolling” is the term used when you take ecstasy.


MDMA-ecstasy.org
MDMA (3-4 methylenedioxymethamphetamine) is a synthetic, psychoactive drug chemically similar to the stimulant methamphetamine and the hallucinogen mescaline. Street names for MDMA include Ecstasy, Adam, XTC, hug, beans, and love drug. In 2003, an estimated 470,000 people in the U.S. age 12 and older used MDMA in the past 30 days, a significant decrease from 2002*Research in animals indicates that MDMA is neurotoxic; whether or not this is also true in humans is currently an area of intense investigation. MDMA can also be dangerous to health and, on rare occasions, lethal.MDMA exerts its primary effects in the brain on neurons that use the chemical serotonin to communicate with other neurons. The serotonin system plays an important role in regulating mood, aggression, sexual activity, sleep, and sensitivity to pain.


I was not that excited about taking mind-altering drugs with people that I did not know. But she really wanted to roll, she said it would bring us closer than humanly possibly, so I decided what the hell, buy the ticket, take the ride.
She left with that fucking cock-knocker Derrick to go buy supplies (lotion, Vicks Vapor-Rub, cigarettes and gum) I waited at the party with Eric. I had never had the drug, I wanted to know what to expect.
“It’s a lot of fun, but be careful, don’t take too much, let me roll first, I really don’t know how much I trust this Derrick guy,” he said.
He has always been a good friend, my best friend, and on a night like that night I needed that.
I continued to drink beer while we waited on Leah and Derrick to get back with the goodies. When they arrived we got into his truck and went back to his apartment.

Drug Advice----when trying a drug for the first time, be around comfortable settings, with people you love and trust.

We got upstairs and he started to hand out the pills, triple stacked blue dolphins. Leah placed one on her tongue and then placed it on mine, I had never felt more like a rock star in my life. There I was with a beautiful girl that loved me about to go on a magical ride courtesy of a chemist in Amsterdam. We all took a pill and sat down on the couches and started to talk about how much they all loved X and how much fun I was about to have, the colors, and the music, oh man wait until you hear the music, you can feel it, you can almost see the music. You two (Leah and I) are about to have so much fun. About 15 min into I began seeing the others in the room rub their hands on there jeans and then begin to shake their hands out kind of like when your hand falls asleep and you try to wake it back up.
“I am so fucked up, I am rolling hard” Leah said, “You feel it yet?”
I looked into her eyes, the green in hers eyes was gone, all that remain was a giant black pupil.
“Nope”
I didn’t feel anything. I decided to wait on it.
15 minutes later they were all on the floor, rubbing each other’s backs and shoulders. The techno music was blaring on the speakers that surrounded the room. I could hear the music but that was it, I couldn’t feel it, I couldn’t see it.

“I think I might be broken,” I said
I still felt no effects of the drug that I had just taken. Derrick handed me another pill and a half along with a 1000mg Vitamin C tablet.


I swallowed the pills plus the half, took off my shirt and got onto the floor. I figured that if the drug didn’t kick in soon I could just fake it, just so I didn’t ruin Leah’s time. But the fucker kicked in almost as soon as I hit the carpet, my body was on fire. The feeling that I can closest associate it is similar to the feeling that you have when you have a really high fever. You whole body aches, but it feels amazing when you rub your hands down your skin. I laid on the floor while Leah rubbed handfuls of lotion on my back. After that I began to feel a little weird. The drug had moved on me and now my heart was beating a little to fast for my liking, I sat on the couch and lit a cigarette, Derrick started to rub Leah’s back, but I really didn’t care too much after all she loved me. Eric sat next to me for a while and we talked, it seemed like for just minutes but we talked for almost an hour, I looked around the room and Leah was gone, as was Derrick. I thought they may be in the kitchen, I had not seen them get up, but my mind was on other things, I had drank roughly 100 gallons of water since the whole ordeal began, and I had to piss. I opened the door to Derrick’s bedroom that lead to the only bathroom in the apartment and found the light and walked into el bano. I unzipped my pants and to my surprise, I had become female in the past 2 hours. My member was nowhere to be seen, I laughed about it as I sat down to pee. As I sat there I started to have those “love” thoughts again, I was so happy to be “loved”. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.


Drug Advice #2
When doing dangerous drugs never EVER look at your-self in the mirror.


My eyes looked liked two black pills had replaced my baby blues. I opened the door and saw Leah fucking Derrick, riding him like a cowgirl. My heart stopped and my brain tried to place this in a file. But the file did not exist, my mind was lost in this drug, I walked out of the bedroom and sat on the couch and started to smoke cigarettes. I smoked almost two packs before I could begin to think again. The sun was beginning to peek though the heavy black blankets that were covering the windows of cock faces apartment.
I just sat there, I could not concentrate on anything else except that image of my girlfriend riding this total stranger, it didn’t seem real, but I had seen it, it was not a hallucination, there is no way that my mind could ever dream up such a horrific and heartbreaking sight.
So I just sat there until they emerged from the bedroom. They took one look at me and freaked.
“You look like you are going to pop,” he said
“Fuck you.” I said; “get me out of here”
Derrick drove Eric and I back to my apartment. Leah said that she was going to stay there and finish her roll, and that she would call me later.
She came by the house later that night and broke up with me.
Derrick and her started dating, they were together two weeks before he brought home another girl and fucked her next to Leah, while she was passed out. She woke up halfway through, and that folks, well that makes me smile. Karma is a motherfucker, it will always come back to bite you in the ass. Love is also a motherfucker it is not to be taken lightly. As for me and Leah, that was it, we never got back together, I don’t play that way, I don’t know what he said to get her into his bed, and I don’t know what convinced her that she was better off with him, I don’t know what I did to make her fall “out” of love in 6 hours. But oh well, fuck her. Oh yeah by the way I heard that he did give her a gift during their two week relationship, which is more than I gave her, the gift that keeps on giving. Leah Mosier had herpes……….spread it around.