My Bobby Takes The Morning Train

About 4 years ago, a group of friends and I decided that rather driving to Padre for Spring Break we would hop on a train and just ride until we got somewhere. Not the greatest thinking, I know that now, but we were young and dumb. We decided that we would need two things for the trip booze and pills, to truly make the trip a "trip", so we went to the liquor store and bought a couple of liters of Jagermeister and a half gallon of Champion bourbon in a plastic bottle. I had a bunch of hydrocodone from a tooth that I had pulled recently and Zak had gotten his hands on Xanax so the trip was soon to be a success. Canyon was what you could call a wait station for trains, the traffic of trains coming through was always high and there was always one just sitting there waiting to go to its next destination. I use the term always lightly because the night in question there was no train waiting. So we drank a little and ate some pills and waited for a train to pass and stop. The wait was excruciating. We sat for hours and trains passed, but they were going too fast to board. There is no way that a person would dare jump onto one of these going at these speeds, no one that is sober that is. At around midnight we had all grown a little weary and were tired of waiting for a train to drive by slow enough that we could jump on, so we drank a little more ate more pills and headed on home. When we got about a block from the house we heard a train whistle blowing, we were about 100 yards from the tracks and we saw a train of about 30 cars slowly going past, we made out decision to go for it, fuck it, we had waited long enough. Bobby started off sprinting towards the rail-road tracks and was half-way there by the time that the rest of us were strapping on our back packs. We all started to sprint and then jog , by the time we had reached the tracks we were out of gas and the train was 100 yards away heading off to God knows where. We all stopped running and laughed and coughed up lung, and laughed some more. There were three of us 21 year old males in the prime of our youth, standing in the middle of the rr tracks drunk off Jager, cheap whiskey and pain killers, and we could not catch a train that was literally trotting past us.
"Hurry up Fuckers." the laughing voice of Bobby pierced through the warm April night.
We all began to laugh. Bobby had actually jump on the train, and was now riding down the tracks, and the train was speeding up.
"Fuck you, jump off" I screamed.
"I'll fuckin' die if I jump" Bobby's voice was now fading as the train drew farther and farther down the track.
"You guys suck, I can't jump" Bobby screamed with panic racing though his voice.
"Call us when you stop!" I yelled laughing, but I knew that Bobby could no longer hear, the sound of the train picking up speed and the shear distance that now separated us ensured that my message did not reach its intended recipient.
We stood on the tracks for a while and watched our friend on the train go further and further into the distance.
"You guys suck!" were the last words that were heard from Bobby as his voice faded into the night.
We walked home laughing about poor Bobby and the great lonely trip that he was about to take. We got to the house, put together a plan to drive to get Bobby when he finally stopped and was able to make a phone call telling us where he was. We expected that he would call from Clovis, it was about 90 miles away and the train was sure to stop there.
We woke up around noon and waited for the call, but he did not call. We began to worry about what the fuck we were going to do. Do we call his parents?
"Mr. Mitchel, Bobby got on a train when he was drunk last night, no sir we don't know where he is or when he will get back." We passed on that idea. We also thought about calling the rail-road company to see if we could get a train schedule, but we did not know which train had hijacked Bobby, and it would also be very hard to explain why we needed a schedule, hopping trains is a felony, and we were sure that the only thing that would make Bobbys trip worse was getting him arrested.
So we sat and we waited for the phone call. The phone did not ring until about 10 o'clock that night Bobby was pissed.
"You guys fucking suck" he screamed
"Where are you?" I asked
"Truth of Fucking Consequences New Mexico" he said.
"He is in Truth or Cosequences" I told the others, and they laughed.
"How was your trip, you fucking hobo?" Zak asked laughing.
"Its not fucking funny, come get me now, I am at a Flying J off the highway, come get me now!" Bobby screamed.
"All right, all right, tell Zak where exactly you are, I am going to get a map" I said and handed the phone to Zak.
I looked at the map of New Mexico and found TorC, I was amazed that he had made it that far.
"Holy fuck dude, Bobby is almost in Arizona." I said
We got in my jeep and headed for TorC, giggling the whole way like little girls in angst of seeing Bobbys face so we could give him shit.
We arrived in Truth of Consequences at around 10 the next morning and found the gas station that Bobby was at. We all walked inside and found Bobby drinking a cup of coffee at a table on the far side of the trucking Mecca that was the Flying J.
Bobby saw us, stood up and walked towards us.
"How was you trip"Zak asked and we all started busting out laughing. Bobby walked past us and headed out the front doors.
"Fuck you Zak, take me home." Bobby said as he got into the back of the Jeep, he fell asleep almost as soon as he got in, despite our attempts to wake him up to give him shit.
He slept most of the way home, not saying much at all.
We got back to Canyon about 11 that evening and as we pulled off the interstate onto our street we were stopped by the blinking red lights of an approaching train. I stopped and as the train passed we all held our laughter until it hurt. We all lost it at the same time, and laughed until the train passed us.
Bobby finally broke his silence, and with tears in our eyes, Bobby said, one of the funniest things I have ever heard
"I can't help it if you guys can't run as fast as me"