Super Kinky #69

I had been fighting off the flu for about a week, lying in my apartment, wishing that God would take me so that I would no longer have to deal with the fever shakes and weird hallucinations. I had no money to go to the doctor so I was self-medicating myself quite heavily on Nyquil, Robitusin, Sudafed Dr. Pepper and Marlboro Lights. My days consisted of sweating, freezing and frantic phone calls to my mom to see what I needed to do about the abnormal rise in my body temp. I think I topped out at around 103 degrees. To sum it up, I felt gross, and my apartment smelled like a hobos graveyard.

Sometime one afternoon Steven called me as said he had something that would make me feel better.
“Is it a gun” I asked “cause you can kill me, don’t worry I wont tell anyone”
“No, it is better than that, I will be over in a minute, you need anything?” he asked
“Bullets, and a pack of cigarettes” I pleaded.

He showed up about ½ an hour later with a pack of Marlboros.
“You look like shit” he said, and handed me a cassette tape
On the cassette label were the crudely written words Super Kinky #69.

A porno
Great thanks Steve, just what I need to calm this fever, some weird sexual scenario that I would never comprehend. I would wind up worse off than I already was, which at that point I did not think could be possible.

After much debate, arguing the fact that I did not think I could handle watching a porno at the present time he popped in the tape.
“You are going to get a kick out of this,” he said with a smile on his face.

As soon as the flick started I remember thinking
“I know those sheets”
But for a split second I ignored my thoughts thinking that the blood boiling in my brain and the infection slowly killing my body.

But then I saw Devon, Stevens’s ex-girlfriend, and she was naked. Then I heard Stevens voice, and then I saw Stevens’s fat naked body in what I like to call the “mirror shot”.

Steve was laughing uncontrollably and pointing at the TV screen.

“Dude, this is fucking weird, seriously turn it off,” I thought to myself, but the words did not make it to my mouth. Instead I just watched and laughed along with Steven as he and his girlfriend made fuck on my TV.

The whole thing was over in about 10 minutes, after the deed was done, Steve interviewed her about what they had just done. I have to admit it was classic, but also really weird. Watching porn in which one of your buddies is the star is something that I would never recommend.

“What do you think?” He said after the tape faded to a gray snow on the screen on the 24-inch Megatron television.

“Honestly, I don’t even know where to begin on what level of weird that was” I said “ but I have to admit it was funny.”

Steve said that he was going to keep the tape at my house, he still lived with his parents and he did not want them to find the tape. I agreed.

“Don’t show anyone,” he said.

“Don’t fucking worry about that, I think your image of your wiener is burned into my retinas, I don’t think I will ever be watching that ever again” I said.

He left and went to work. I crashed out, the bottle of Nyquil that I had been sipping on during the show had caught up with me, and it was now time to go into a coma for a while.

The phone woke me up around nine o clock. It was dark outside. I was trying to determine how long I had been asleep when I answered
“Hello?”
“Bring the tape over to the house.” Wes said
“What tape?” I asked
“Super Kinky #69” he said
“I have no idea what you are talking about” I said.
“Quit being a fag, Steve told me about the tape” Wes yelled back.
“Fuck you, I am sick, I feel like death, if you want to watch it you will have to come over here because I am not leaving, there is no way that I can drive” I said.
“I will be there in a minute” He said, and sure enough minutes later my apartment was full of my fraternity brothers, all demanding to see the tape that I had promised not to show anyone.
I called Steve on his cell phone
“Can they watch it?” I asked
“Yeah sure, what the fuck?” he said.

Minutes later the ackward love fest started again, and I lay on my couch hacking up chunks of my lung and smoking cigarettes.

“Holy shit dude he is fat.” Someone said
“Devon has sweet tits”
"So does he!"

We all sat and watch and laughed. Then they left, left me alone to die of what I was beginning to believe was the start of a new strain of flu that no one had ever heard of, and this porno had helped infect others, It could in fact the porno that would end the world, or at least this is what I came up with as I laid on my couch watching the white and gray snow speckles on the screen on the TV and I passed out again.

I awoke the next morning, feeling like a million dollars. My fever had finally broken during the night, and for the first time in a week I felt like going outside.

I walked down to the JBK at school, as soon as I entered the room, everyone at our table started to laugh about the tape they had see at my house the night before.

The president of the chapter walked over to me and said that he was very disappointed in me; he thought that I possessed better judgment than this. I told him to relax, no one would see the tape besides our guys, and if worse came to worse I would just destroy the tape, and it would be like the whole thing never even happened.

But that would have been too easy, by the end of the day the word had spread to the sorierty that Devon was pledging that I had a video of her having sex.

If people could have just learned to keep their mouths shut, things would have been cool, but nope that would have been to easy.

My sister called me that afternoon saying that she had heard about the tape and wanted to know if I was involved. She was the advisor for the Greek Council at the school, so if I had kicked out of school, she would have been the one to do it. Ironic…. don’t you think?

I told her that I had no idea what she was even talking about, and she believed me, or at least said she believed me.

So it was at this point that I knew the tape had to be destroyed. It was hitting too close to home, and there was no way that I was going to get kicked out of school over a stupid video of two people having consensual sex. (The delta girls had turned it into way more than that)

Steven had gone out of town that morning to visit his fiancé. Yeah that’s right his fiancé. And Wes and I destroyed the tape in his garage, only after watching it one more time. We also had managed to drink a large amount of beer and Jagermeister, and decided that gasoline and matches would be a suitable death for the tape. We placed Super Kinky 69 in to a small portable grill that we usually used to cook steaks, inside his garage. We soaked the tape in gas and tossed a match.

WHOOOSH! The flames licked the roof of the garage and for a second or two I thought the whole house would go up in flames, but the gas burned fast and soon a flame about a foot tall destroyed all the evidence that existed. We sat in the garage inhaling the fumes from the gasoline and burning plastic. When the flames died down, we each took our turns pissing on the smoldering mess of plastic and burnt tape. Then we went back into Wes’s house and drank more beer.